At 2:30 in the morning a few months ago, I woke up in vomit. My husband had brought our crying baby into our room sometime around 1:00 (unbeknownst to me), and at 2:30 we figured out why she was so unhappy. When, after cleaned and placed fast asleep back in her own bed, she woke up around 6:30 doused in sour pasta, it was time for Mama to call in sick.
After the anxiety of planning for a substitute subsided, I happily cozied up on the couch with my girl, who was so miserable, and yet, so sweet. It felt like the best part of maternity leave all over again, and I fell right back in the swing of wearing my husband’s sweatpants and eating gluten free biscuits over a sleeping baby in my lap. I clicked around the tv and settled on an old standby–“Let’s Make a Deal”.
Wayne Brady just makes me feel so at peace with the world.
But I soon found myself with building anxiety again. Oh, the drama of daytime television! These people always go for the empty box or the closed curtain or the unopened envelope. Just take the two grand and make a clean getaway, people!
But they don’t. And in so many ways, we don’t either. We all pretend to want the safe landing, the guarantee that we’ll walk away with a crisp hundred dollar bill, but deep down we crave the gamble that behind door number one is a brand new car.
We do this not because we want the money or because we’re greedy. We do it because we want an adventure.
We all come screaming into this world not knowing anything about the arms that will catch us. Doesn’t it seem by design then for human beings to naturally want to leap into the darkness, only to be caught by something unknown–and wonderful–in the end?
Wayne Brady wrapped it up. Some contestants lost, some won. But I looked down at my rosy-cheeked, sweat-crowned baby who kept me up all night, who kept me home from work, who surprises me all the time, and recognized that when we have the courage to go for door number one–for the uncertainty and mystery and adventure–what we find behind it will drive us to more opened doors and more great adventures in the end.